i looked for you all summer,
looked for you in the eyes of every damn cat prowling in the backyard,
looked for you in the seams of my passenger seat,
looked for your voice in my own voice,
anaphoric repetitions of things you might say.
i had dreams so real i could taste sweetness and
feel the scratch of grass i held in tight fists,
always thinking i could bring something with me,
if i clutched it hard enough or
bargained with the universe craftily enough
but everything always dissolves like sugar in water.
as you come into focus in the lens of my mind,
taking in the bright, bright lights, i realize
you'll either want me or you won't.
do you believe that what you are looking for
is also looking for you?