Wake up Wildcats! The day you’ve been looking forward to all week — to get a good picture for Instagram and a boss story — has finally arrived: happy tailgate. But what now? How do you manage to look amazing all day, be a good drunk, maybe make it to the game, and not have to nap the rest of the night? Here’s a tailgate schedule suggested by NBN to make your tailgate Saturday everything you’ve dreamed of.
I know this is earlier than many of you would like to get up, but setting the alarm earlier allows you way more time (in this case 30 minutes) to hit snooze and troll on your phone before you actually have to get out of bed.
By now you’ve hopefully walked the two steps out of your bed to throw on a sweatshirt. It’s time to carbo load for the big day ahead of you with some BRUNCH! Although it’s not anywhere near lunch time, brunch is always better than breakfast. Either postmates something from Clarke’s or get Cupitol takeout — both are the perfect meal to keep you full for a day of drinking and dancing. For a cheaper alternative, go to your nearest dining hall and toast up some bread. Add either Nutella and banana, peanut butter and banana, or, my favorite, cinnamon sugar to your toast. Better yet, if the omelet bar is open, be healthy and order a fancy egg creation. IMPORTANT TIP: As much as you love coffee and think it will get you through the day, you’ll probably forget to drink water and just boot later because you’re too dehydrated.
Time to choose your very important tailgate outfit. My philosophy is: go casual. Sometimes the more plain, effortless looks end up looking way cuter. Grab a basic Northwestern t-shirt and find a pair of scissors. Either cut it into a v-neck, off the shoulder top or a crop top. You don’t have to do anything too fancy and you don’t have to pay people you find on Instagram to cut it fancy for you (you have roommatse and hall friends that will do it for free if you’re that incapable).
For colder gamedays, don’t be afraid to just rock a sweatshirt with leggings or jeans. Find a unique sweatshirt from online or a shirt neglected in the back of Campus Gear (they have plenty of sales racks!) Even though your outfit isn’t extravagant, you’ll be in something original.
Never be afraid to wear a funny and/or weird shirt. It’s totally ok to be a Northwestern Mom or Dad for the day because you probably will be in 20 years from now when you force (read: respectfully encourage) your child to attend this well-established university.
If you’re craving a more seductive look because you’ve been eyeing your lecture crush all week and you know you’ll run into them, go for the toddler’s or kid’s shirts at the bookstores and cut the sides a bit to give you more room. Its funny, crafty and cute.
For the lazier ‘Cats out there… you can put on any t-shirt that’s either purple or says Northwestern and you’ll be good to go. Brownie points though if you’re not wearing the same shirt as your roommate just because you’re lazy.
Accessorize. Tattoos, hats, fanny packs, necklaces, glasses and even foam fingers are all welcome. The more the merrier but be prepared to lose it when you’re drinking too much Skol.
You’re nowhere near ready and you’re stressed, but it’s ok because in half an hour you’ll be happy on your elevated surface dancing to Intoxicated by Martin Solveig. GET HYPE
Ok it’s time to get serious. PG time. Here’s are some major keys: bring around your own cup for all of the drinking activities so you know you won’t be sharing someone else’s and get sick. Also, make mixed drinks in a water bottle to take to the party because drinking over a longer period of time makes you a happppieerrr drunk. And last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST chase with PEDIALYTE. What is Pedialyte you may ask? Pedialyte is gatorade but for babies aka the best hangover cure. It’s less sugary than gatorade but tastes just as good. When you know you need to hydrate and your water tastes disgusting this is the best thing to have. Make sure you purchase the flavored versions because the unflavored will taste like your vomit (sorry for the grotesque details, but you’ve been warned). My favorite flavor is ~strawberry lemonade~
Commence first shot. Smile, click, post to story.
You're already over this song and it's only the second verse – next.
Shot number two.
Find a white wall or a nice scenic background outside to take some pictures before you’re drunk and your eyes or legs get all crazy in pictures.
Get ready to leave for the tailgate. This should take about 10 minutes (or way more) to actually get your friends together to start heading over.
You’ve made it. You’ve arrived at your destination. Evanston fresh air and luke warm beer awaits you.
You see someone from your pre-orientation trip. You forget their name, so you awkwardly wave.
You spilled your drink on some person next to you. Whoops.
You’ve found the elevated surface. Another congrats. You go Glen Coco.
Time to tailgate hop. Grab your friends and hope the other party is fun and has a fresh alcohol supply.
Mr. Brightside is playing. Whip out your phone for a good video.
Oh no, you see your PA. You contemplate saying hi or hiding from him/her. You end up casually walking by and waving.
Time to go back to the tailgate you left.
All the alcohol is gone but you seriously want more.
Wait, didn’t this song already play today? (Looking at you, Rockstar by Post Malone)
You ask someone next to you who Northwestern is playing today because you remember there is a game going on soon.
Oh no, shoelace becomes untied. Quickly scrabble for a surface to retie it before you plummet to your death.
*Scrolls through story to see who viewed it*
Getting a bit more bored. Scroll through photos and begin to heart your favorites.
Oh crap the game starts soon. You’re contemplating whether or not you should hitch the shuttle to go over, stay at the tailgate or go nap.
Since you know you’re leaving soon to watch the game or nap, you get really hype again and start to dance.
Begins to break sweat because in the last 5 minutes you’ve moved more than you have all week.
Because you’ve followed this tailgate schedule you should be on your drunk A-game and make it to Ryan Field for one round at least of the Fight Song.
On your way back to nap you stop at one of the many great drunk eating places Evanston has to offer. This can include Cheesies, D&Ds, Tomate Fresh Kitchen, Lisa’s, the leftovers in your fridge, or the cereal bar at the dining hall.
Goodnight Wildcats. Whether you went to the game or not you’re probably back in your bed by now. Rest up for Saturday night. We aren’t called Northwasted for nothing. Oh… and don’t forget your Pedialyte when you wake up.